Thursday, July 12, 2012

How To Keep Your Man From Cheating on You

The fear that many women in a relationship have is that of losing their man to another woman. Is there a way to 'affair proof' your relationship and keep your man from cheating on you? What should you do to keep your man from cheating?

1. Love the right man! Some men seem to have the cheating gene embedded in them... and they will cheat on you regardless of what you do. This particular type of man has other deep-rooted issues that he solves (for a while) by having affairs... and nothing you do will change such a man. The emotional high that he gets from cheating on you is not comparable to anything else that you bring into the relationship. To stop such a man from cheating on you... you leave him!

2. Your daily interaction should draw him to you. We all relate to others in different ways but you need to relate with your man in a way that makes him love and respect you more and more each day. You must convey to him in everything that you do that he matters and so do you (on an equal basis). You should thus be heard AND respected... and so should he. Being aggressive or manipulative to ensure that you get your way all the time will drive him away from you. While being overly submissive so that only what he wants matters will make you increasingly angry and him increasingly disrespectful... a situation that is ripe for an affair. To keep him from cheating on you learn how to relate with him so that you both matter in the exchange. If you don't want to do something then let him know why you don't want to do it (calmly) but listen to why he wants you to do it. You should be able to disagree without being nasty or agree without someone feeling taken advantage of. Compliment him and let him know how you feel... and graciously receive the same from him without you feeling a need to make the compliment less by saying how undeserving you are of it. You are valuable... and so is he; so let your relationship reflect that in every way.

3. Be the right woman.. We often think that if we were pretty enough or tall enough or 'whatever else we tell ourselves' then he wouldn't cheat on us. But the truth is that if you teach him to respect you... and to know that there are consequences to his bad behavior then cheating would be less rampant than it currently is. So regardless of how you look... teach him to respect you! It must be clear to him that you love and respect yourself... and that he needs to do the same if he wants this relationship to go anywhere. He cannot think that cheating will be okay or a forgivable indiscretion with you... he must know without a shadow of doubt that it will kill your relationship.

To keep your man from cheating on you, make sure that you communicate to him by how you react and deal with him on a daily basis that cheating is a no-go zone for him. Cheating is not usually an event but a progressive end to the disrespect he has for you... so nip disrespect in the bud.



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Signs He Is Ending The Affair

When an affair is ending it will normally end from one person who wants out... and then the other realizes (or is told) that it's over. Do you get the feeling that he wants out of the affair? What are the signs that he is ending the affair?

i. His emotional interest in you has waned completely. A man who is ending an affair is no longer emotionally vested in you... at least not as fully as he once was. It's not the naturally waning of emotions but a totally lack of interest in you. No spontaneous touching, hugging, cuddling, kissing or other touchy things. He simply has no need or desire to touch you!

ii. He has no time for you and the things that you care about. A man who is ending the affair will no longer want to be with you or to do those things that would make you happy. He will spend most of his time away from you and you will only see him when he can't avoid it. He does not want to do anything with or for you. Whatever errands he did for you... or wherever he used to accompany you to... that is now ALL in the past. He does nothing for or with you.

iii. You feel like a stranger in his life. A man who is ending the affair is no longer sharing himself with you so you don't really know what is happening in his life. Whatever challenges or conquests he is making at work you do not know about. Whatever is happening with his family and friends... you know nothing about. Whatever you do know about him you have gotten to know from other people who did not realize that he is breaking it off with you.

iv. He is back to the dating scene. A man who is no longer interested in you is probably dating again. This can be a problem if you don't know that he is ending it with you as you will feel like he is betraying you. If you look hard enough you will find the evidence that he is dating again.

A man who is ending an affair without telling you can be a source of much hurt. You may have thought that things between you would eventually get better when in actuality he has no desire to salvage the relationship. He is getting out of the relationship while you are still in the relationship hoping for things to get back to what they used to be.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Top 5 Reasons Spouses Commit Adultery

It feels like you can't go a single day without hearing about a celebrity or politician mixed up in some sort of marital affair. They realize that in this time of the internet, mobile phones and the twenty four hour news cycle that they are watched more closely than ever before. That does not stop them one bit.

The very same thing can be stated for unfaithful mates that are not in the spotlight. Although they might not need to worry about never ending paparazzi, there are plenty of eyes around to see what they're up to.

Why do people nowadays cheat on their significant other? Probably for the very same reasons people have been unfaithful ever since the outset of relationships. Arguably the top reasons are:

1. The Lust

It is as elementary as can be. A spouse comes across somebody that catches their fancy and it's on. They must have that individual regardless of the repercussions. Once she or he scratches that particular itch the cycle begins yet again. It's like an individual addicted to alcohol that can never get their fill.

2. Low Self-Esteem

The husband or wife for whatever reason doesn't feel very good about themselves. Never mind that they are with a person that loves them deeply and also continuously conveys to them how wonderful they are. It still is not enough. Therefore they make the decision to carry on an extramarital relationship with the hope that it will fill the void at the same time knowing full well it will not. The insecure mate might be consumed with guilt nonetheless it doesn't prevent him or her from being unfaithful.

3. Carefree

This is the bunch which says to themselves that their lives are way too short and so you have got to fulfill yourself in whatever way possible. If that happens to be in the form of an extramarital affair then that's the way it goes. No person should deny their self of enjoyment. On top of that they really don't mean any harm. It is what it is.

4. Boredom

The husband and wife has settled into a completely predictable routine so the philandering spouse is seeking a little excitement. Something that can break the daily grind thereby making him or her come to life again. The fastest way to achieve this is connect with someone and begin an extramarital relationship. They know it's inappropriate but the thrill of getting freed from the boredom of everyday life is definitely worth the risk.

5. Unsure

Your wife or husband doesn't know what they genuinely want. One minute it is domestic tranquility the next minute it's the overwhelming impulse to be single and playing the field. They really like the concept of married life yet aren't entirely ready to give up what they experienced before.



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Signs That He Is Dating Someone Else

Do you get the feeling that you are sharing your man with another? He is charming and attentive but you have this feeling that something is missing from the relationship. How can you tell if the thoughts you are having have any basis? What are the signs that he is dating someone else?

i. He is missing in action at certain times of the day or week. A man who is dating someone else will have to spend time with that other person... and he will have to create that time from his other activities. Is your man totally unavailable at certain times or periods of the day or week? Find out what he is doing during that time. Ask him... but find a way to verify if what he says is the truth.

ii. He says things that make no sense to you. A man who is dating someone else that he is emotionally connected to will sometimes say things to you that make no sense... and he will scramble to save face or explain it away. He will sometimes confuse her reality with yours... and tell you things from her world.

iii. His emotional commitment leaves you unsatisfied. A man who is dating someone else has to be giving emotionally to both of you so he just cannot give all of himself to you... and you will know that intuitively.

iv. He avoids using your name especially in intimate or emotive situations. A man who is dating someone else will do his best to avoid calling you the wrong name especially in situations where he may not be in total control. You will thus be babe or honey or some other endearment... even when you think that it's too early in the relationship for such loving names.

v. He assumes you know things that you actually don't know. A man with two love interest will not be able to separate what you know and what she knows. He will thus assume he told you something when in actuality he told it to the other woman.

A man who is dating 2 or more women at the same time will find it difficult to separate the different lives of the women... and that will slip through in his speech and actions.



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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why Do Men Have Affairs And Why Your Man Might Be Cheating

Why do men have affairs when they pretend to be satisfied and committed to their wife and family or partner? Well, if there was one answer to this question then a lot of affairs would be avoided and a lot of marriages and families would be kept together. Although there isn't just one thing you can point to there are some known reasons why men choose to have affairs.

The simple answer why men commit adultery is because many cheaters are selfish. They tend to think about what they want instead of what they need. I don't know if it has something to do with the way they were raised or a learned behavior. Either way it's a "me first" mentality.

It makes you scratch your head when you think about how some men throw away everything for what they perceive as unbridled passion. What they fail to do is weigh the cost of that unleashed passion or hormones. I can't prove it but I would bet that most men realize when it's all said and done and they have ripped the heart out of their partner and kids that it wasn't worth it.

So why are so many men having affairs?

Well unfortunately one of the contributing factors in why so many men are having affairs is because they can. There are two things that tend to increase the odds of men cheating. One is opportunity and the other is a significant number of women willing to help them be unfaithful.

Now, please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not making excuses for any man who decides to commit adultery. A man who cheats makes that bad choice all on his own. However, he has to have a willing mistress to actually go through with the affair. There are just too many women who knowingly make themselves available for would be cheaters.

Besides the numerous women men have to entangle themselves with there is opportunity. Many men are given too much freedom to go and come as they please with no accountability to their spouse or partner. I'm not suggesting that men have electronic bracelets on with their wife or partner having a GPS read out on their whereabouts. However, if a guy can leave the house before sunrise, return after sunset and hangout with his buddies on the weekend, he has too much opportunity too be unfaithful.

So what about your marriage or relationship? Are you concerned that your soul-mate is having an affair or has had one?

Why might your man be cheating?

Perhaps your partner has a big ego and thinks that his flirting and playing with other women's emotions is a way of validating his attractiveness. Sometimes husbands want to make sure that they still have it altogether. Unfortunately, very often what starts out as a game turns into something much more destructive.

Another reason why your guy might be cheating or thinking about it is because he is unhappy with the physical or emotional state of your relationship. Very often men seek out and find someone who can fulfill their needs. Instead of taking the steps to change the dynamics of their relationship they think it's easier to have an affair. Again, thinking with their hormones and not their head or heart.

There are some men who already believe that their relationship is over and thus cheating is that last act to push it over the edge. It's a selfish act but what faster way to bring a relationship to an end than by cheating. In a sense it's a way to expedite the process.

6 Signs Your Boyfriend May Be Cheating On You

If you are wondering if your boyfriend is cheating on you be on the lookout for certain telltale signs he might display. If you see any of these signs be more attentive to his behavior but be careful about accusing him before you have actual proof. If you are wrong, this alone could ruin your relationship.

Below are 6 things you can be watching out for if you have any suspicions. Of course there are more clues to watch out for but these can get you started.

1. Do you already have a feeling your boyfriend is up to something? Normally you should pay attention to your gut feelings. If you ignore them you may be missing out on the truth of the matter. You better than anyone should know your boyfriends habits and when they change you know something is not right.

2. Does he pay more attention to your needs now? If so he may be feeling guilty that he is cheating on you when he is in the beginning stages of an affair. As the cheating continues this extra attention will start to diminish.

3. Also if he starts buying you lots of gifts he could be feeling guilty about cheating on you. The theory is buying you gifts is supposed to make him feel better for what he has done. From your standpoint it will be obvious he is up to something if he never gave you gifts this way in the past.

4. If he is in a long term relationship he will do his best to make both relationships work. It will be difficult and something will go wrong eventually. If he has problems in the other relationship it will show when he is around you. Watch for out of the ordinary mood changes when he is with you, this could be a sign he is having trouble with the other girl.

5. If you get in a fight does he always talk about ending your relationship? He may make threats of leaving you knowing he has another girl to fall back on. Be cautious if you have to deal with this attitude especially if he says it often.

6. Has your communication broken down? He may have become impersonal with you or even avoids talking to you altogether if possible. He may even become inconsiderate of your feelings. While communication is very important in successful relationships, he may seem to have no interest in improving things.



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Monday, July 9, 2012

Infidelity: Concrete Actions to Take

A relationship or even a marriage can survive an infidelity from a cheating partner. However people need to realize that healing from unfaithfulness in a relationship is tough and excruciating work from both the cheating partner and the cheated person. Both parties must be fully committed to restore trust and be able to reconnect.

If one has cheated on their spouse they should be willing to show that they are resentful and seek their partners forgiveness no matter how long it takes. Psychologists have come up with a six step healing or recovery process for people who would want to rebuild the relationship or their marriage. Both partners should be willing to take part in this process so that it can work. It is not a one man show.

The beginning step to the recovery process is for the cheating person to guarantee their spouse that they no longer see their lovers and make it clear that they do not communicate with them either through calls, emails, texts or even social sites. The individual should tell their partners whenever their lover tries to communicate with them so that they can be in the light in case of anything.

After stopping the affair, an individual ought to be brutally honest with their partner about the details of the affair. An individual should answer any question and answer it honestly. This is the only way that a person can be able to move past the betrayal especially when they get to understand why their partner cheated on them.

After giving all the information in regards to the affair, one should empathize with their partner. An individual should ask themselves how they would feel if they were the ones the love became unfaithful. Thus they should be patient with their partners and understand that betrayal is not something that can be easily forgiven.

When one empathizes with their partner, the next step is to be always available to speak and most importantly listen. It is never easy to let go of the fact that their partner has cheated on them and so that individual should never be rushed to put that in their past. When they are ready then they will forgive and hopefully forget.

After infidelity takes place, one should take blame by expressing candid and frank regret. The individual needs to show their partner that their betrayal was the worst mistake they ever made and that it would never be repeated. After all is said and done, they should help their partners be able to forgive them no matter how long this will take. Infidelity can take time to heal, but can also make for a stronger relationship.



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